As promised, above is the link for the blog for Cayman Organizing Solutions. Its now a link on this Blog as well. Please comment.
Before I gave you the link for the online store, http://www.organizecayman.com/
The Blog now has posts about back to school etc. Please visit and let me know.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Monday, August 09, 2010
Organize!!
Hi guys.
This post is to let you know about a new website, www.organizecayman.com. Its a new organizing and storage online store, with a whole bunch of neat stuff that you all will like. The "stuff" includes home, parents, auto, tech and office stuff. Check it out and let me know what you think!!
If you would like to make an order from outside the Cayman Islands, or if you would like to ask any other questions, please contact info@organizecayman.com.
The blog for Organize Cayman is coming out soon, and I will let you know of the link in a couple days, once its ready.
Hope you guys are doing well, Happy Belated Independence to all the J'acans.
This post is to let you know about a new website, www.organizecayman.com. Its a new organizing and storage online store, with a whole bunch of neat stuff that you all will like. The "stuff" includes home, parents, auto, tech and office stuff. Check it out and let me know what you think!!
If you would like to make an order from outside the Cayman Islands, or if you would like to ask any other questions, please contact info@organizecayman.com.
The blog for Organize Cayman is coming out soon, and I will let you know of the link in a couple days, once its ready.
Hope you guys are doing well, Happy Belated Independence to all the J'acans.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Cayman's Election etc.
Yeah. Its the Sunday after the PPM's crash and burn in the 2009 Cayman Islands Elections. The supporters of the UDP are euphoric, and I do not blame them.
In 2005 when we trounced them, so were we. But unlike them we did not a) hand out cards at a polling station with out candidates names on it with X's next to the names b) run candidates that were constitutionally barred from being elected c) fail to disavow ourselves from the misconduct referred to in a).
Neither did we appoint a Deputy Leader of Government Business, when there is no such animal in the Constitution. They did it in 2003 and now they're doing it again. I wonder if their supporters are aware of this?
But, I congratulate the UDP, and understand that it is their time. I respect the democratic process, to the extent that it was not perverted by any interference or corruption.
I give credit to the UDP for attracting the first time voters. They did so effectively.
But, the PPM will rise again, stronger than ever. 4 of our 5 former ministers won their seats, and 1 of our 5 backbencher won his (Moses).
Out of the 5, 3 were first elected.
PPM will rise again.
In 2005 when we trounced them, so were we. But unlike them we did not a) hand out cards at a polling station with out candidates names on it with X's next to the names b) run candidates that were constitutionally barred from being elected c) fail to disavow ourselves from the misconduct referred to in a).
Neither did we appoint a Deputy Leader of Government Business, when there is no such animal in the Constitution. They did it in 2003 and now they're doing it again. I wonder if their supporters are aware of this?
But, I congratulate the UDP, and understand that it is their time. I respect the democratic process, to the extent that it was not perverted by any interference or corruption.
I give credit to the UDP for attracting the first time voters. They did so effectively.
But, the PPM will rise again, stronger than ever. 4 of our 5 former ministers won their seats, and 1 of our 5 backbencher won his (Moses).
Out of the 5, 3 were first elected.
PPM will rise again.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Bloody Dawn
Yes, folks, having supported my political folks as an executive committee member and supporter in what was a bruising, hard fought campaign, we were defeated at the polls yesterday in emphatic fashion.
So today I feel bruised and battered, but not down and out.
Well, just for the heck of it, I uploaded 2 old photos of my sons. Yeah. By next week I will be normal, ok. Yeah.
Check out my friends blog at www.caymantee.wordpress.com
Monday, April 06, 2009
First Post for 2009
Thanks to Ms. Cute Pants, for her continued posts, and her latest post about her snorkelling. She is a good ambassador for the Cayman Islands. (Again, I have re-learn the whole link thing).
Despite that Facebook had distracted me away from bloggage, she still manages to keep me on her blogroll. She is too kind. Thanks CP!
Its quite a difference moving between Facebook and Blogger, since Facebook is so brainless - a status update can be just one word. I admire the bloggers who constantly seek out new bloggage material. They are true bloggionistas.
I will change the profile a bit and think of a real post.
Well done to the West Indies for a decent showing in the recent tour by England. Not easy to deal with England's batting and bowling lineup, so I think credit is due to both teams, and in my case I will give special big ups to the West Indies. Rally!
Despite that Facebook had distracted me away from bloggage, she still manages to keep me on her blogroll. She is too kind. Thanks CP!
Its quite a difference moving between Facebook and Blogger, since Facebook is so brainless - a status update can be just one word. I admire the bloggers who constantly seek out new bloggage material. They are true bloggionistas.
I will change the profile a bit and think of a real post.
Well done to the West Indies for a decent showing in the recent tour by England. Not easy to deal with England's batting and bowling lineup, so I think credit is due to both teams, and in my case I will give special big ups to the West Indies. Rally!
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Saturday Bloggage
Yeah, folks, well, just came from my son's Saturday Morning Hockey Game. Well, his team lost 1-5, and are coming to the end of their season.
He is a bit of an exception in terms of the typical Roller Hockey family around here - typically - but there you go.
He had 2 games as goalie the first season, and the team somehow decided to let him close out the season with 2 games in goal. And, for the first time, he is saying he is not enjoying it in goal. I guess most parents want to see their child scoring goals, and maybe we were the only ones bidding for slap shot positions. After all, this is his first season in Roller Hockey.
Above he is shown at a recent class trip to the beach up at Rum point.
***********************
US Auto industry
Isnt it something that its only GM, Chrysler and Ford who are asking for a bailout. And all Uncle Sam wants is an account of how it will be spent and how it will be repaid, and they will not account for it, and the bailout is now in danger.
Toyota USA, Nissan USA and all the other Japanese companies with huge investments in the US are not asking for anything. Sure, they are having a slowdown as well, but they are not asking the government to prop them up.
How much will the US taxpayer be able to stand, propping up the financial industry and the Auto industry, while they themselves are immersed in mortgage failures, and bank failures.
And, ironically, the Auto industry arrived in Washington, on company business jets, to beg 25 billion dollars. Great, isnt it.
A few months ago, after the financial industry bailout, AIG, one of the companies receiving bailout money, spent $440,000 on a retreat for their staff.... Nice, isnt it?
Just what in the Lord's name is going on?
Friday, November 21, 2008
Bloggage
Lawd.
I dont even know how to post a link any more. But Ms. Cute pants I have met her now that she lives here in the Islands that time forgot - what I delightful lady - and what an expert bloggonomist.
I abandoned bloggitis for Facebook, and I have been having a nice time, but I guess its a different cinting altogether.
Folks, how are you doing - How are you doing my folks in Jam Rock - sorry I wont make it there until 09, if the Lord spares me.
Of course the Bullist is still about, and I read his posts from time to time.
Lots more work here in my office that the last time I blogged, so hopefully I can continue with the general bloggage.
All manner of problems everywhere, from Wall Street to Main Street, as they say. Financial meltdowns causing those who make a living from liquidations and deregistration of investment funds to do well.
However my work seems to have dodged the poison arrow so far, and I hope this continues in 09.
Hope to read some of your blogs now, and get back to my old blogging peeps.
I dont even know how to post a link any more. But Ms. Cute pants I have met her now that she lives here in the Islands that time forgot - what I delightful lady - and what an expert bloggonomist.
I abandoned bloggitis for Facebook, and I have been having a nice time, but I guess its a different cinting altogether.
Folks, how are you doing - How are you doing my folks in Jam Rock - sorry I wont make it there until 09, if the Lord spares me.
Of course the Bullist is still about, and I read his posts from time to time.
Lots more work here in my office that the last time I blogged, so hopefully I can continue with the general bloggage.
All manner of problems everywhere, from Wall Street to Main Street, as they say. Financial meltdowns causing those who make a living from liquidations and deregistration of investment funds to do well.
However my work seems to have dodged the poison arrow so far, and I hope this continues in 09.
Hope to read some of your blogs now, and get back to my old blogging peeps.
Thursday, September 04, 2008
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Florida's prisons, US politics, general bloggage
Folks
I once read some idiot's post (I'm just another idiot) that when you dont post for a long time you should not apologise or explain, one should just get on with it.. and on and on the idiot went.
Oh well, He can suck an egg.
This makes quite interesting reading about recent events in Florida's prisons. Its also worth watching the video and looking at the photos.
Thanks to the Bull for the HTML refresher.
See my next post for a link to another sordid article.
Really seems as if Barack is biting Hillary's heel now.. matters heating up as I type..
I once read some idiot's post (I'm just another idiot) that when you dont post for a long time you should not apologise or explain, one should just get on with it.. and on and on the idiot went.
Oh well, He can suck an egg.
This makes quite interesting reading about recent events in Florida's prisons. Its also worth watching the video and looking at the photos.
Thanks to the Bull for the HTML refresher.
See my next post for a link to another sordid article.
Really seems as if Barack is biting Hillary's heel now.. matters heating up as I type..
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Blogging, whats that again?
I heard from my Bloggionista from the chilly Atlantic today.
Then, I went through the withdrawal symptom of not remembering my login and password for Blogger again. That's evidence of blog blockage.
Anyway - hope everyone is doing fine.
The US presidential process is quite interesting-
Quite a shocking (but not surprising) report about sex trafficking in the UK here..http://edition.cnn.com/video/
See if you can read it --
I managed to get a few words in before January was out -- yippee..
Then, I went through the withdrawal symptom of not remembering my login and password for Blogger again. That's evidence of blog blockage.
Anyway - hope everyone is doing fine.
The US presidential process is quite interesting-
Quite a shocking (but not surprising) report about sex trafficking in the UK here..http://edition.cnn.com/video/
See if you can read it --
I managed to get a few words in before January was out -- yippee..
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Hello, I am still alive
Folks
I could not even remember by login and password just now.
I expected Blogger may have closed my account, and that expectation rose when I couldn't log on. Anyway, my senior moment finished, and I got on.
Just a general shout out to folks out there, some of whom may have given up on this blog since this is the first post in a couple of months.
I have to thank the Bull for his help with my practice's website - it turns out I will now be involved in the posting for a blog run by a community organisation of which I am a part.
I got this opportunity to do a quickie post because I was waiting on a backup to complete on my work pc - so, may be I should back up more often.
Folks, I will go through your blogs by the weekend.. Shouts to everyone.
I could not even remember by login and password just now.
I expected Blogger may have closed my account, and that expectation rose when I couldn't log on. Anyway, my senior moment finished, and I got on.
Just a general shout out to folks out there, some of whom may have given up on this blog since this is the first post in a couple of months.
I have to thank the Bull for his help with my practice's website - it turns out I will now be involved in the posting for a blog run by a community organisation of which I am a part.
I got this opportunity to do a quickie post because I was waiting on a backup to complete on my work pc - so, may be I should back up more often.
Folks, I will go through your blogs by the weekend.. Shouts to everyone.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Wet Friday
Folks
I mentioned at least once before how en vogue the term "diaspora" has become recently, at least where I've been reading/listening, i.e. Jamrock newspapers and radio talk shows.
The word is so weird to me , it sounds like some kind of conundrum. Or, it sounds like you're caught in a coccoon, depending on the context in which it is spoken or written. I tell you what, some persons use it to connote some kind of exile - the only thing I know is this, I ain't in no diaspora, dude. I am who I am.
Another thing.
Folks, I haven't blogged so much in 2007. The record is there for all to see. I did not delete any posts. It can't be as much as 10 this year. If so thats plenty. And, in July or so, I took up the sport of skeet shooting, and I believe I am addicted. I mean it is really exciting.
Anyway, all the folks down at the range seem to think I am smitten. I feel the fever. I tried pistol the first day, trap another day, and then since that its been all skeet. Its wickid, yute..
Check it out...
And lastly, for my Jamrock political animals, read this...
PM Portia While visiting England , Portia Simspon Miller is invited over to tea with the Queen. She asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people.She asks how she knows if they're intelligent.I do so by asking them the right questions,says the Queen. Allow me to demonstrate.
She phones Tony Blair, puts him on speakerphone,and says, "Mr.Prime Minister,Please answer this question: Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister.Who is it? Tony Blair responds ,It is I, your Highness. Correct. Thank you and good-bye, Mr. Prime Minister,says the Queen.
She hangs up and says, Did you get that, Mrs. Simpson Miller? Yes, Your Highnesss! Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that Upon returning to Jamaica .
She decides she'd better put the Minister of National Security and Justice to the test, She summons Mr.Peter Phillips to Jamaica House and says, Peter Phillips I wonder if you can answer a question for me? Why, of course, maam . What's on your mind? Let me see now....uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister.Who is it? Peter Phillips hems and haws and finally asks, Can I think about it and get back to you? Portia. agrees, and Peter Phillips leaves. Phillips immediately calls a meeting of other senior ministry officials and high ranking officers in the Police Force. They puzzle over the question for several hours but nobody can come up with an answer.Finally, in desperation, Peter Phillips calls Renato Adams and explains his problem....Renato.... put down yu M-16 fi just one second.....your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it? Renato adjusts his bullet-proof vest and answers mmediately, "It's me, of course, you fool.
Much relieved, Peter Phillips rushes back to Jamaica House and exclaims, "I know the answer, maam! I know who it is! Renato Adams. Portia replies in disgust, "Wrong, you idiot, it's Tony Blair.
I mentioned at least once before how en vogue the term "diaspora" has become recently, at least where I've been reading/listening, i.e. Jamrock newspapers and radio talk shows.
The word is so weird to me , it sounds like some kind of conundrum. Or, it sounds like you're caught in a coccoon, depending on the context in which it is spoken or written. I tell you what, some persons use it to connote some kind of exile - the only thing I know is this, I ain't in no diaspora, dude. I am who I am.
Another thing.
Folks, I haven't blogged so much in 2007. The record is there for all to see. I did not delete any posts. It can't be as much as 10 this year. If so thats plenty. And, in July or so, I took up the sport of skeet shooting, and I believe I am addicted. I mean it is really exciting.
Anyway, all the folks down at the range seem to think I am smitten. I feel the fever. I tried pistol the first day, trap another day, and then since that its been all skeet. Its wickid, yute..
Check it out...
And lastly, for my Jamrock political animals, read this...
PM Portia While visiting England , Portia Simspon Miller is invited over to tea with the Queen. She asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people.She asks how she knows if they're intelligent.I do so by asking them the right questions,says the Queen. Allow me to demonstrate.
She phones Tony Blair, puts him on speakerphone,and says, "Mr.Prime Minister,Please answer this question: Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister.Who is it? Tony Blair responds ,It is I, your Highness. Correct. Thank you and good-bye, Mr. Prime Minister,says the Queen.
She hangs up and says, Did you get that, Mrs. Simpson Miller? Yes, Your Highnesss! Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that Upon returning to Jamaica .
She decides she'd better put the Minister of National Security and Justice to the test, She summons Mr.Peter Phillips to Jamaica House and says, Peter Phillips I wonder if you can answer a question for me? Why, of course, maam . What's on your mind? Let me see now....uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister.Who is it? Peter Phillips hems and haws and finally asks, Can I think about it and get back to you? Portia. agrees, and Peter Phillips leaves. Phillips immediately calls a meeting of other senior ministry officials and high ranking officers in the Police Force. They puzzle over the question for several hours but nobody can come up with an answer.Finally, in desperation, Peter Phillips calls Renato Adams and explains his problem....Renato.... put down yu M-16 fi just one second.....your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it? Renato adjusts his bullet-proof vest and answers mmediately, "It's me, of course, you fool.
Much relieved, Peter Phillips rushes back to Jamaica House and exclaims, "I know the answer, maam! I know who it is! Renato Adams. Portia replies in disgust, "Wrong, you idiot, it's Tony Blair.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Ja'can Bus Trip
Ever wonder what it would be like if Jamaican buses were set up like airlines, with the flight attendant and captain giving safety instructions
Bus driver:
(speaking on the intercom): Welcome to Bus numba farty running from Papine to Down Town Kingston. Please direct yuh attention to di ConDocta who will instruc' yuh on our safety and model features.
ConDocta:
Hail up massive! We want yuh fi know dat yuh a ride pon di safes' bus dat run pon di Papine to Downtown route. The moggle of our bus is a 1980 Encava, own and operate by Rough Rider Transports. Dis moggle can survive any adversities an' cantravasies. As unnu can si, dis bus get nuff lick up an' bad man shot it up nuff time an' it still a drive like new! This bus seat up to 55 passenger; howeva, due to fi we commitment to excellent service, we no leave anybady straddling ina di streets. So expect to 'ave up to 140 people in yah by di time we reach downtown. Durin' di journey we may encounta unexpected turbulences.......... dese are known as pot holes. In di case of a sudden bump please refrain fram bawlin'out "Lard Jesus mi dead now!" Our driva is an experience driva an' will mek sure di axle an' wheel noh bruck aff ina one a dem. But in case we drap inna one an ca'an come out. Please do not climb troo di window dem til unnu pay unnu bus fare.......or I will shat unnu rass wid mi M16. Dis bus no equip wid seat belt. Please hole on pon di railin' when di bus a tun di carna dem. De bus is capable of drivin' pon 2 wheels ' roun' all carnas an' bends. When di bus a tun a wicked carna pon 2 wheels, wi ask dat seated passengers bear it if sumbaddi slide dung inna dem seat an' squash yuh gainst di bus side. We seated passengers may experience standin' passengers losin' dem balance an' falling ova pon unnu ... please no yell out, "ey batty bway, coom aff a mi lap!" Dat might cause a serious shoot out! On exiting de bus please don' expect di bus to come to a full stop. Wi askin' dat yuh hop aff a di bus an' step skillfull .... if unnu drap an lan' pon unnu backside an' bruck suting, Rough Rider noh responsible. Dis is NOT a non-stop journey. As a matta a fact wi stop any which part wi waan fi stop, at every yaad gate - all ina miggle a di road wi stop. Howeva dis bus noh stop fi police ... in case of an unexpected police chase, the driva will be forced to increase de bus' normal speed from 100 mph to 160 mph. Yuh will be instructed to hole on tight an shet unnu mout. In case dis bus is hijacked by a teroris' known as "Pickpocket", hole di theif an' murda 'im rass. Dat said, if wi reach downtown inna wan piece please prepare fi new passenger fi shub unnu dung before unnu can get aff. Noh mine dem ...... seat kina ration. Tank yuh for tekin' di Iriest Rough Rider Encava pon di route.... and hope yuh enjoy di ride. DRIVA - PRESS OUT!
Bus driver:
(speaking on the intercom): Welcome to Bus numba farty running from Papine to Down Town Kingston. Please direct yuh attention to di ConDocta who will instruc' yuh on our safety and model features.
ConDocta:
Hail up massive! We want yuh fi know dat yuh a ride pon di safes' bus dat run pon di Papine to Downtown route. The moggle of our bus is a 1980 Encava, own and operate by Rough Rider Transports. Dis moggle can survive any adversities an' cantravasies. As unnu can si, dis bus get nuff lick up an' bad man shot it up nuff time an' it still a drive like new! This bus seat up to 55 passenger; howeva, due to fi we commitment to excellent service, we no leave anybady straddling ina di streets. So expect to 'ave up to 140 people in yah by di time we reach downtown. Durin' di journey we may encounta unexpected turbulences.......... dese are known as pot holes. In di case of a sudden bump please refrain fram bawlin'out "Lard Jesus mi dead now!" Our driva is an experience driva an' will mek sure di axle an' wheel noh bruck aff ina one a dem. But in case we drap inna one an ca'an come out. Please do not climb troo di window dem til unnu pay unnu bus fare.......or I will shat unnu rass wid mi M16. Dis bus no equip wid seat belt. Please hole on pon di railin' when di bus a tun di carna dem. De bus is capable of drivin' pon 2 wheels ' roun' all carnas an' bends. When di bus a tun a wicked carna pon 2 wheels, wi ask dat seated passengers bear it if sumbaddi slide dung inna dem seat an' squash yuh gainst di bus side. We seated passengers may experience standin' passengers losin' dem balance an' falling ova pon unnu ... please no yell out, "ey batty bway, coom aff a mi lap!" Dat might cause a serious shoot out! On exiting de bus please don' expect di bus to come to a full stop. Wi askin' dat yuh hop aff a di bus an' step skillfull .... if unnu drap an lan' pon unnu backside an' bruck suting, Rough Rider noh responsible. Dis is NOT a non-stop journey. As a matta a fact wi stop any which part wi waan fi stop, at every yaad gate - all ina miggle a di road wi stop. Howeva dis bus noh stop fi police ... in case of an unexpected police chase, the driva will be forced to increase de bus' normal speed from 100 mph to 160 mph. Yuh will be instructed to hole on tight an shet unnu mout. In case dis bus is hijacked by a teroris' known as "Pickpocket", hole di theif an' murda 'im rass. Dat said, if wi reach downtown inna wan piece please prepare fi new passenger fi shub unnu dung before unnu can get aff. Noh mine dem ...... seat kina ration. Tank yuh for tekin' di Iriest Rough Rider Encava pon di route.... and hope yuh enjoy di ride. DRIVA - PRESS OUT!
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
ENGLAND GOES DOWN
Much to my delight, England has suffered a much deserved, massive demise to India. Read it here ..
Don't get me wrong, I ain't prejudiced, its just that they like to diss us a lot - so now its time to feast in your poison.. I hope Rahul and Dhoni demolishes you guys from here on.. and don't forget Sreesanth et al..
I'm sure I'll love how cricinfo spins this one.
Anyway, wouldn't you guess where I saw the Bull the other day...anyone would venture to guess?
Don't get me wrong, I ain't prejudiced, its just that they like to diss us a lot - so now its time to feast in your poison.. I hope Rahul and Dhoni demolishes you guys from here on.. and don't forget Sreesanth et al..
I'm sure I'll love how cricinfo spins this one.
Anyway, wouldn't you guess where I saw the Bull the other day...anyone would venture to guess?
Monday, July 16, 2007
Itagomadme
Cricinfo.com is widely regarded as the premeir cricketing website.
Whilst I recognise its qualities, I have always noted that its writers write about the Windies with disdain. Not that much people like the Windies these days. When I ask my bloggionistas to big them up, they usually comment "Bun Fyah" and other such ridicule, some of which is love in disguise, by the way.
Anyway, Tony Cosier's artice is buried deep on Cricinfo, and
here it is.
As a headline on Cricinfo, it is glaringly (but expectedly) absent. Anyway, what will those *&&^#^)#'s say when the Windies continue to grow from strength to strength. Its just a matter of time.
Anyway, for you non-cricketing (pathetic) bloggionistas, here's a bit for you.
ONE
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an
order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
"We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter.
"You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine,
or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets,
but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
TWO
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and
the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine.
I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register
and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider",
looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?"
I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today."
She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.
THREE
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive
and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing,
she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number,
so she was using the ATM "thingy."
FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
"Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the
battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they
(pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?"
"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy,"
she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually
unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check
about the batteries. It's a long walk." (she had no clue either!)
FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift.
One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said,
"I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?"
"Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her.
With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper,
put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
SIX
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was
towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair
and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister."
I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had
set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
SEVEN
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office
of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with
their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks
who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal.
Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
EIGHT
Police in Radnor , Pa. interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on
his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message
"He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time
they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working,
the suspect confessed.
NINE
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her
kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give
the kid some Benadryl and it should be fine.
The mother says, "Okay, but, I just gave him some ant killer..... "
Dispatcher: "Rush him in to emergency room!"
Life is tough.
It's tougher if you're stupid.
Whilst I recognise its qualities, I have always noted that its writers write about the Windies with disdain. Not that much people like the Windies these days. When I ask my bloggionistas to big them up, they usually comment "Bun Fyah" and other such ridicule, some of which is love in disguise, by the way.
Anyway, Tony Cosier's artice is buried deep on Cricinfo, and
here it is.
As a headline on Cricinfo, it is glaringly (but expectedly) absent. Anyway, what will those *&&^#^)#'s say when the Windies continue to grow from strength to strength. Its just a matter of time.
Anyway, for you non-cricketing (pathetic) bloggionistas, here's a bit for you.
ONE
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an
order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
"We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter.
"You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine,
or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets,
but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
TWO
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and
the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine.
I picked up one of those "dividers" that they keep by the cash register
and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "divider",
looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this is?"
I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today."
She said "OK," and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.
THREE
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive
and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing,
she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number,
so she was using the ATM "thingy."
FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
"Do you need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the
battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they
(pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?"
"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy,"
she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually
unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check
about the batteries. It's a long walk." (she had no clue either!)
FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift.
One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said,
"I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?"
"Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her.
With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper,
put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
SIX
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was
towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair
and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister."
I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had
set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
SEVEN
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office
of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with
their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks
who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal.
Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
EIGHT
Police in Radnor , Pa. interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on
his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message
"He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time
they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working,
the suspect confessed.
NINE
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her
kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give
the kid some Benadryl and it should be fine.
The mother says, "Okay, but, I just gave him some ant killer..... "
Dispatcher: "Rush him in to emergency room!"
Life is tough.
It's tougher if you're stupid.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Happy rainy days to all church heathen
The First Affair
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" his wife demanded. "I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon." She looked down at his shoes and said: "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!"
The Second Affair
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen. He told his wife: "There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?" The wife smiled sweetly and replied: "Not this time!"
The Third Affair
A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen! "I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician commented, "I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity." So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home. "I have something to show you that you won't believe," he said to his wife, opening his briefcase. "My God!" the wife exclaimed, "Schwartz is dead!" The Fourth Affair A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. "Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner." She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder. "Don't move until I tell you," she said, "pretend you're a statue." "What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room. "Oh it's a statue," she replied, "the Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too." No more was said, not even when they went to bed. Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer. "Here," he said to the statue, have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing."
The Fifth Affair
A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer. "Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent." "One Cent?" the man exclaimed. He glanced at the menu and asked: "How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?" "A nickel," the barman replied. "A nickel?" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?" The bartender replied: "Upstairs, with my wife." The man asked: "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?" The bartender replied: "The same thing I'm doing to his business down here."
The Sixth Affair
Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside. He looked up and said weakly: "I have something I must confess." "There's no need to, " his wife replied. "No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!" "I know," she replied, "now just rest and let the poison work."
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" his wife demanded. "I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon." She looked down at his shoes and said: "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!"
The Second Affair
A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen. He told his wife: "There's no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?" The wife smiled sweetly and replied: "Not this time!"
The Third Affair
A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen! "I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician commented, "I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity." So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home. "I have something to show you that you won't believe," he said to his wife, opening his briefcase. "My God!" the wife exclaimed, "Schwartz is dead!" The Fourth Affair A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. "Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner." She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder. "Don't move until I tell you," she said, "pretend you're a statue." "What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room. "Oh it's a statue," she replied, "the Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too." No more was said, not even when they went to bed. Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer. "Here," he said to the statue, have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing."
The Fifth Affair
A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer. "Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent." "One Cent?" the man exclaimed. He glanced at the menu and asked: "How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?" "A nickel," the barman replied. "A nickel?" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?" The bartender replied: "Upstairs, with my wife." The man asked: "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?" The bartender replied: "The same thing I'm doing to his business down here."
The Sixth Affair
Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside. He looked up and said weakly: "I have something I must confess." "There's no need to, " his wife replied. "No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!" "I know," she replied, "now just rest and let the poison work."
Friday, June 15, 2007
Happy Father's Day to all joe grind
A woman is having an affair during the day while her husband is at work.
Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the
bedroom closet to watch.
The woman's husband comes home early. She puts her lover in the
closet, not
realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside"
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250"
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are
in
the closet together.
Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy - "$750"
Man - "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's
go outside and have a game of catch."
The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."
The father asks, "How much ! did you sell them for?"
Boy - "$1,000"
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like
that...that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take
you to church and make you confess."
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the
confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again."
Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the
bedroom closet to watch.
The woman's husband comes home early. She puts her lover in the
closet, not
realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside"
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250"
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are
in
the closet together.
Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
The lover remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy - "$750"
Man - "Fine."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's
go outside and have a game of catch."
The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove."
The father asks, "How much ! did you sell them for?"
Boy - "$1,000"
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like
that...that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take
you to church and make you confess."
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the
confession booth and he closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that shit again."
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Bloggism
Well, the Windiess have been receiving some bitch licks down in no-man's land. And, although they came back to get high 500's declared, in 2 days they couldn't bowl out the Marylebone Cricket Club team, made up of mainly university students, including Sir Viv's son.
And Sarwan is back home to nurse a sore shoulder - and Samuels will be back in the crease, hopefully to do something this time.
Well - I will watch them this coming Thursday, hopefully it will be on Sports Max..
Well, thankfully, our one week plus of rain has subsided, and the place has begun to dry out. We had all started to look like wet chickens. And our cars are full of mud. I will wash the beast this evening, hopefully - I like to wash her myself.
I'm here waiting for 2 pieces of much promised business - hopefully they arrive before long otherwise I'll be living outside.
Well, my weekend in Kinsgton was enjoyable - we had lunch at Strawberry Hill on Saturday 26th May - I will try to post some photos on another post.
And Sarwan is back home to nurse a sore shoulder - and Samuels will be back in the crease, hopefully to do something this time.
Well - I will watch them this coming Thursday, hopefully it will be on Sports Max..
Well, thankfully, our one week plus of rain has subsided, and the place has begun to dry out. We had all started to look like wet chickens. And our cars are full of mud. I will wash the beast this evening, hopefully - I like to wash her myself.
I'm here waiting for 2 pieces of much promised business - hopefully they arrive before long otherwise I'll be living outside.
Well, my weekend in Kinsgton was enjoyable - we had lunch at Strawberry Hill on Saturday 26th May - I will try to post some photos on another post.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Ah tyad a talkin bout cricket...
An you may be sick of reading about it, but I don't care I tell you because I love the summavabitch. Anyhow I will leave her alone for today, since she cause me so much horrors, especially where the Windies are concerned.
Anyhow, tell me something, how about these chain emails? The ones which attempt under threat of life or ill health (and other manner of rassin' up) to get you to forward or return the email. What in heaven's name is the significance of returning some stupid email to the sender?
How about the scam ones asking you to receive some pile of money that needs to leave some place like Sierra Leone or Nigeria. Boy some of these folks really have time. Have mercy.
And what about the hoaxes. How about The one that says that AOL or CNN is tracking the email and will donate 10 cents per email forwarded to some destitute person. There was even one about Leptosporosis (spelling?) on the tops of soda cans, and some lady died on a boat?
How about the Spam? Since I have been using C&W anti-spam, its been a lot better -
How about OJ being kicked out of that restaurant? Was it race based? The owner says Michael Jordan sat at the same table right after OJ left so it aint about race.
Hey how about Blogger's new features - no more fiddling around with HTML - thats excellent for me, I tell you because I am what you call a PC dummy. All dem yellow books are for me.
Lastly, please support the Windies, - lets see if they can do anything in England. Somehow I believe Lara's departure will help them improve. Sorry I broke my promise you no she's always on my mind (Note that cricket now has a gender, even though in this post she started as a S.O.B., which has male connotations).
Anyhow, tell me something, how about these chain emails? The ones which attempt under threat of life or ill health (and other manner of rassin' up) to get you to forward or return the email. What in heaven's name is the significance of returning some stupid email to the sender?
How about the scam ones asking you to receive some pile of money that needs to leave some place like Sierra Leone or Nigeria. Boy some of these folks really have time. Have mercy.
And what about the hoaxes. How about The one that says that AOL or CNN is tracking the email and will donate 10 cents per email forwarded to some destitute person. There was even one about Leptosporosis (spelling?) on the tops of soda cans, and some lady died on a boat?
How about the Spam? Since I have been using C&W anti-spam, its been a lot better -
How about OJ being kicked out of that restaurant? Was it race based? The owner says Michael Jordan sat at the same table right after OJ left so it aint about race.
Hey how about Blogger's new features - no more fiddling around with HTML - thats excellent for me, I tell you because I am what you call a PC dummy. All dem yellow books are for me.
Lastly, please support the Windies, - lets see if they can do anything in England. Somehow I believe Lara's departure will help them improve. Sorry I broke my promise you no she's always on my mind (Note that cricket now has a gender, even though in this post she started as a S.O.B., which has male connotations).
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