Thursday afternoon bloggage

I received the following Jamaican political satire, labelled the Peter Phillips PhD manifesto. It is based on Dr. Phillips' since abandoned Rastafarianism:

The Peter Phillips Manifesto

(1) That the correct spelling of the name of our country 'Jamaica' shall be spelt and known officially as 'Jah-Mek-Ya'.
(2) That the National Colours be changed from Black, Green and Gold to the more suitable 'Red, Green and Gold';
(3) That the National Dish be changed from Ackee and Saltfish to Ital Stew;
(4) That a Luxury Tax be added to Salt, and its used discouraged from use among the general population by using the JIS (Jamaica Information Service) in conjunction with the Ministry of Health, to raise awareness to the unsavoury habit of flavouring foods unnaturally;
(5) Similarly in the interest of the nation's health and well-being (and morality), that all Pork and Pork-based foods be banned from domestic use. We shall however encourage and develop Pork exports overseas to strengthen our local economy meanwhile punishing ' Babylon'.
(6) That on all official documents, the sovereign nation known as the 'United States of America' shall be known to us as 'Babylon'. So we can correctly use terms such as ' Babylon system' and 'Babylon government' as references when making analogies and comparisons to our own system of government.
(7) That 51 Old Hope Road (a.k.a. the Bob Marley Museum ) be made into a National Heritage site;
(8) That 'Kings House' be renamed 'David House',
(9) That the Supreme Court building complex be known as 'Judgement Yard';
(10) The Governor General be known by the title of 'the Most High Priest';
(11) The honourific title 'Honourable' will now be changed to 'Ras' and the surname is not necessary, so for example the Chief Justice shall be known as 'Ras Lensley' and the
(12) That the similar or equivalent honourific title of 'Elder' can also be used in place of or instead of 'Ras', and the female equivalent will be 'Empress' or similarly 'Queen', e.g., 'Empress Portia';
(13) That the national coat of arms be replaced by the Star of David (in Red, Green and Gold);
(14) The National Musical instrument will be the Conch Shell accompanied with the kettle (kettie) drum;
(15) The Book of Maccabbees be also used in place of the Bible in official ceremonies and in schools;
(16) That an Elite Republican Guard be formed to replace the ineffective JDF, and they will be placed under the supervision of the Bobo Ashanti Ministry;
(17) The Ministry of Health and Family Planning will be placed under the portfolio of the 12 Tribes Ministry;
(18) Women will be known as 'dawta(s)';
(19) Any reference in the constitution or secondary legislation to the person will be replaced with the words "di I"; and finally
(20) That PNP followers and supporters will no longer be known as 'Comrades', but hereafter as 'Brethren'.


I also received the following gem in relation to Tequila:

Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do
you sometimes wish you were more assertive? If you answered yes to any
of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila®.

Tequila® is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident
about yourself and your actions. Tequila® can help ease you out of your
shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do
just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Tequila® almost
immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any
obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.
Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you will
discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Tequila®.

Tequila® may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or
nursing should not use Tequila®. However, women who wouldn't mind
nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it. Side effects may
include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness,
loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of
virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration,
dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of
Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.


Lastly

Here a a couple of links to an interview between one of my heroes, Ali G, and the Beckams.

http://www.break.com/index/aligbeckhams.html part 1
http://www.break.com/index/aligbeckhams2.html part 2

Hope you enjoy.

Blog you on weekend hopefully. Unless I find something better to do.

SEEEEEYA!