Monday, February 27, 2006

Simon Cowell, what a dude

Courtesy of msnbc.com, I have put some of the Simon's comments below: Obviously, now that he has left England (where he was probably a less than average Joe) and made it big, he no longer walks in alleys.

1) That would appeal to anyone over the age of 90 who was hard of hearing.

2) If you hear a scream from a hotel room in Las Vegas, that’s where Barry Manilow is watching this show."
To Bobby, after he sang Manilow's "Copacabana

3) I thought it was a really pimpy third-rate copy of Earth Wind and Fire."
To Sway, Feb. 22

4)It was forgettable and you sang it like somebody taking an elocution lesson."
To Heather, Feb. 21

5)It was like being at some horrible Sunday lunch and a child getting up to sing out of tune. For me it was a complete and utter mess.”
To Stevie, Feb. 21

6)"What's putting me off, and I'm not being rude, is you remind me of a pet poodle I used to have. "
Simon to curly-haired auditioner Tatiana, Feb. 7

7)"You're one of those packages you get at Christmastime where you say: 'Can I give it back?'"
Simon to auditioner Irada, who claimed she had the "complete package," Feb.

8)You're a jolly nice young man, aren't you? I think that anyone over the age of 80 would love you. And anyone under the age of 20 wouldn't be able to relate to you."
Simon to auditioner Kevin, Feb. 7

But what I like about Simon is that he is now expected to be insulting, so now it only serves as entertainment.

On another more regional note, congrats to Ms. Simpson Miller for having won the presidency of the PNP, and presumably the designation of Prime Minister, when the time comes. Hopefully she will remove the deadweight in the Cabinet, so that matters will not be more of the same.

Blog you soon... And did anyone watch the speed skating in the Olympics.. I know little of it but I enjoyed it a few days ago.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Thursday afternoon bloggage

I received the following Jamaican political satire, labelled the Peter Phillips PhD manifesto. It is based on Dr. Phillips' since abandoned Rastafarianism:

The Peter Phillips Manifesto

(1) That the correct spelling of the name of our country 'Jamaica' shall be spelt and known officially as 'Jah-Mek-Ya'.
(2) That the National Colours be changed from Black, Green and Gold to the more suitable 'Red, Green and Gold';
(3) That the National Dish be changed from Ackee and Saltfish to Ital Stew;
(4) That a Luxury Tax be added to Salt, and its used discouraged from use among the general population by using the JIS (Jamaica Information Service) in conjunction with the Ministry of Health, to raise awareness to the unsavoury habit of flavouring foods unnaturally;
(5) Similarly in the interest of the nation's health and well-being (and morality), that all Pork and Pork-based foods be banned from domestic use. We shall however encourage and develop Pork exports overseas to strengthen our local economy meanwhile punishing ' Babylon'.
(6) That on all official documents, the sovereign nation known as the 'United States of America' shall be known to us as 'Babylon'. So we can correctly use terms such as ' Babylon system' and 'Babylon government' as references when making analogies and comparisons to our own system of government.
(7) That 51 Old Hope Road (a.k.a. the Bob Marley Museum ) be made into a National Heritage site;
(8) That 'Kings House' be renamed 'David House',
(9) That the Supreme Court building complex be known as 'Judgement Yard';
(10) The Governor General be known by the title of 'the Most High Priest';
(11) The honourific title 'Honourable' will now be changed to 'Ras' and the surname is not necessary, so for example the Chief Justice shall be known as 'Ras Lensley' and the
(12) That the similar or equivalent honourific title of 'Elder' can also be used in place of or instead of 'Ras', and the female equivalent will be 'Empress' or similarly 'Queen', e.g., 'Empress Portia';
(13) That the national coat of arms be replaced by the Star of David (in Red, Green and Gold);
(14) The National Musical instrument will be the Conch Shell accompanied with the kettle (kettie) drum;
(15) The Book of Maccabbees be also used in place of the Bible in official ceremonies and in schools;
(16) That an Elite Republican Guard be formed to replace the ineffective JDF, and they will be placed under the supervision of the Bobo Ashanti Ministry;
(17) The Ministry of Health and Family Planning will be placed under the portfolio of the 12 Tribes Ministry;
(18) Women will be known as 'dawta(s)';
(19) Any reference in the constitution or secondary legislation to the person will be replaced with the words "di I"; and finally
(20) That PNP followers and supporters will no longer be known as 'Comrades', but hereafter as 'Brethren'.


I also received the following gem in relation to Tequila:

Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do
you sometimes wish you were more assertive? If you answered yes to any
of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Tequila®.

Tequila® is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident
about yourself and your actions. Tequila® can help ease you out of your
shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do
just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Tequila® almost
immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any
obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.
Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you will
discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Tequila®.

Tequila® may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or
nursing should not use Tequila®. However, women who wouldn't mind
nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it. Side effects may
include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness,
loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of
virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration,
dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of
Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.


Lastly

Here a a couple of links to an interview between one of my heroes, Ali G, and the Beckams.

http://www.break.com/index/aligbeckhams.html part 1
http://www.break.com/index/aligbeckhams2.html part 2

Hope you enjoy.

Blog you on weekend hopefully. Unless I find something better to do.

SEEEEEYA!

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Windies get an irish shrink? Is that so?


Now, I know that the termn"shrink" is not medically precise, however, I heard today that the Windies have taken on an Irish sports psychologist who was previously the psychologist for Ice Hockey teams!. Amazing. I suppose all the test nations must have them. And anything would help right now. Poor Windies. I suppose some might think it strange with an Irish sponsor (Digicel) and now an Irish mind twista?

And how in the world did BC Lara (and others) get excluded from the game by the WICB against the kiwis because of his C&W deals, again? What the hell is going on? We really look foolish, you know. Our cricketing cockups really need to end. Its not like Digicel is giving the players any amount of money which would be an incentive for them to be exclusive to Digicel. Lara likes Carnival, I know, but come on guys, lets get real for goodness sake. These disputes seem relatively easy to compromise.

And can you imagine the discussions between our players and this shrink? It would be like

Shrink: And how are you feeling today, Shiv?

Shiv: Ein feelin too hot today, leh we have a lime nuh?

Shrink: Citrus contains a high content of acid, therefore care should be taken prior to consumption. What about your mental faculties, are you feeling stable?

Shiv: The last time I went stable, Brian down deh groomin horse, because de man dem leave if off the team 'cause o de endorsement deals for C&W.

Shrink: I don't endorse dat view, however we should explore the possibility of hypnosis.

Shiv: I eh doin dat eh. How bout some Guiness?

Shrink: Nice talking to you, Shiv. Hopefully I'll get somewhere with Wavell or one of the Dwayne's.

Better yet, can you imagine some of the discussions with Sir Gary?

All in good fun, folks, all in good fun.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Not feeling very revolutionary..

Folks

It is a quiet Monday Morning. I went to East end on Saturday all day, helping my in-laws with the preparation of their house for my father in law's return home from hospital. All of Sunday I was tyad, to rass. My back was feelin it.

We assembled a hospital bed, removed a bed which was about 50 years old and HEAVY. It was on a wooden base which was not moved after Ivan, and when it was removed, there was a perfect, square shaped mixture of mud and sand from Ivan, that bastard.

By the way, my caribbean and Florida bloggers, do you realise we are less than 16 weeks away from hurricane season. Especially for those in Cayman, are you really ready? How many things did you wish you had on September 13th, 2004? Do you have a generator yet? How about a portable water tank, with say 2000 gals capacity? How about all of the car phone chargers, extension cords, batteries etc. The list goes on and on, and the US based recommendation of having food and water for 3-7 days went out the window completely - that was not near enough in Cayman.

How about gasoline containers? Do you have those? How about travel documents out of here, including visas to the US (in our case we would need to go to Jam for that).

Is it too early to start talk about hurricanes? The guys who were fixing my roof tiles, they worked for about 3 days in November, then came back last week and finished it. Such is the nature of those rude boys. They will booming for many more years.

I would invite my Jamaican bloggionistas to comment on the political race heating up there at the moment. Will it be Portia, or the Solid as a Rock man? Or will it be the 65 to one prize winner? Or could it be the Doc? Not you Doc. D.

Blog you soon.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Its just that I had nothing to say

Folks

For those of you who were just saying "good riddance" or who had uttered a quick eulogy, its not that I was about to quit bloggiology, just yet.

Its just that I had nothing to say. To be honest, I am still a bit blank.

But my previous post does reflect a side of bloggism that I would like to explore.

This weekend I've got the usual T-ball (that's the kiddie version of softball for those who feel obliged to think they are averse to American Sports hehe...) .. The baseball facility here in Cayman is called the Field of Dreams - I believe it is the most impressive sports facility in the Cayman Islands. I have just begun to help with the coaching of my son's team, Subway, and at this age group, there is no need to know a lot about the game, luckily for me.

I saw this article about Maxi Priest training with a local Football team recently. In fact I believe he performed here recently along with Freddy McGreggor. Along with Mad Bull, I also missed that show. When you work in Cayman, things can pass you by quite easily, because one is usually trying to keep one's proverbial head above water, work wise.

I am headed up to West Bay this morning to see a house being constructed by some friends - I am dedicating a certain amount of time to hitting the road to make people aware of my practice. Let's see how that goes.

Have a great weekend, folks.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

After the love (of Bloggage) is gone

For awhile to love was all we could do
We were young and we knew
And our eyes were alive
Deep inside we knew our love was true
For awhile we paid no mind to the past
We knew love would last
Ev’ry night somethin’ right
Would invite us to begin the dance

Somethin’ happened along the way
What used to be happy was sad
Somethin’ happened along the way
And yesterday was all we had
And oh after the love has gone
How could you lead me on
And not let me stay around
Oh oh oh afterthe love has gone
What used to be right is wrong
Can love that’s lost be found

For awhile to love each other with all
We would ever need
Love was strong for so long
Never knew that what was
Wrong oh baby wasn’t right
We tried to find what we had
Till sadness was all we shared
We were scared this affair would lead our love into
Somethin’ happened along the way
Yesterday was all we had
Somethin’ happened along the way
What used to be happy is sad

Somethin’ happened along the way
Oh yesterday was all we had
And oh after the love has gone
How could you lead me on
And not let me stay around
Oh oh oh after the love has gone
What used to be right is wrong
Can love that’s lost be found

Oh oh oh oh oh oh after the love has gone
What used to be right is wrong
Can love that’s lost be found
Oh woh woh after the love has gone
What used to be right is wrong
Can love that’s lost be found

Oh woh woh after the love has gone
What used to be right is wrong
Can love that’s lost be found
Oh woh woh
Oh woh woh after the love has gone
What used to be right is wrong
Can love that’s lost be found

Woh woh woh after the love has gone
What used to be right is wrong
Can love that’s lost be found
Woh woh woh (Courtesy www.lyricsfreak.com)

For those of you too young (or oblivious) to recognise the above lyrics, they are of an old song by Earth, Wind and Fire. There is no current R&B group which can hold a candle to them. Trust me on that one, bloggionistas.

One of the current groups that I like very much is Black Eyed Peas. Here are the lyrics to Dont Phunk with my heart.

No, no, no, no, don’t phunk with my heart (Yeah)
No, no, no, no, don’t phunk with my heart
I wonder if I take you home
Would you still be in love, baby (in love, baby)
I wonder if I take you home
Would you still be in love, baby (in love, baby)

Girl, you know you got me,
got me With your pistol shot me, shot me
And I'm here helplessly In love
and nothing can stop me
You can't stop me cause once I start it
Can't return me cause once you bought it
I'm coming baby, don’t got it (don’t make me wait)

So let’s be about it
No, no, no, no, don’t phunk with my heart
Baby, have some trustin', trustin'
When I come in lustin', lustin
'Cause I bring you that comfort
I ain’t only here cause I want ya body
I want your mind too
Interestin’s what I find you
And I'm interested in the long haul
Come on girl (yee-haw) (come on)

I wonder if I take you home
Would you still be in love, baby (in love, baby)
I wonder if I take you home
Would you still be in love, baby (in love, baby)

No, no, no, no, don’t phunk with my heart Girl
, you had me, once you kissed me
My love for you is not iffy
I always want you with me I'll play Bobby
and you’ll play Whitney
If you smoke, I'll smoke too
That’s how much I'm in love with you
Crazy is what crazy do Crazy in love,
I'm a crazy fool

No, no, no, no, don’t phunk with my heart
Why are you so insecure
When you got passion and love her
You always claimin’ I'm a cheater
Think I'd up and go leave ya For another seƱorita
You forgot that I need ya
You must’ve caught amnesia
That’s why you don’t believe (uh, yeah, check it out)
Don’t you worry ‘bout a thing, baby
Cause you know you got me by a string, baby
Don’t you worry ‘bout a thing, baby
Cause you know you got me by a string, baby
Baby girl, you make me feel

You know you make me feel so real
I love you more than sex appeal (Cause you’re)
That-tha, that tha, that-tha, that girl [5x] [overlapping]

No, no, no, no, don’t phunk with my heart [2x]
That-tha, that tha, that-tha, that girl [2x]

I wonder if I take you home
Would you still be in love, baby (in love, baby) [4x]
Don’t you worry ‘bout a thing, baby
Cause you know you got me by a string, baby
Don’t you worry ‘bout a thing, baby
Cause you know you got me by a string, baby[Thanks to bella_bambina@gmail.com for these lyrics][ www.azlyrics.com ]

Monday, February 13, 2006

Hello, is there anyone out there?



Folks

Well, what a Monday that was. From one thing to the other. And, our housekeeper was sick both Saturday and today, so as of 215 I was Mr. Mom.

My beloved 6 y.o. (pictured at right) had asked me not to come into the school ground, but to collect him at the gate, where I waited in vain for about 15 minutes, then I went inside to find the little fella, who said, "I forgot, Dad". What else could I say?

I met some website advertising folks today about a listing for me on their website, and now they want me to do some work for them also, so I am keeping busy.

I saw a guy using the Palm Treo 650, and I asked him about it, and he was convinced that it was beyond question the best communications device overall. The Palm Treo 700 is out, with a narrower body, and with a Windows platform, but C&W (where I have some points to credit towards the rather hefty puchase) only sells the 650 at the moment. My work emails are not that hectic at the moment, however I am already at the stage where my scheduling and tasks are quite active, and throughout my daily "out and about" I meet several people who I take their contact details from, so that I can market my practice, so the Treo is on my wish list, for email, contacts, and schedule (not so much the web, although the 650 I saw today, which was connected to Digicel, was muy rapido to rass, the guy opened up satellite weather maps, and it was amazing.

Anyway, I was trying to upload some pics of my boys, so hopefully it works. These are some pics of them on scooters that the got at Christmas. They are still scooting, too.

Blog you again before the week is done. Happy Valentines to all when it comes. Men, do your duty. Women, you know what to do.

By the way, under "Blogs of Note" on www.Blogger.com tonight, featured is none other than Guyana, congrats, GG, you are world class.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

The NFL is a lot more than just hype.

Well, I see that my good bloggionista, Doctor D has lamented the lack of a post-game Super Bowl "report" from me, whilst still repeatedly pointing out he does not give a shyte about the game. I suppose he wants the report so that he can then say he does not give a shyte... or is a love for the American game lurking within him.. ?

I can say this.. Dr. D.. it is not fortuitous for one person (i.e. you) to watch the game in 3 locations. I am suggesting there is an affinity which you need to release!

I will stop now. Just kidding, Doc.

I will comment on the game briefly. The team I was rooting for won. There were a few strange referee calls, which will cast a bit of a cloud, but it does not matter, the Steelers won. Sad to lose Jerome Bettis , to well deserved retirement but after a 14 year career, he deserves it. I heard that the Seahawks may lose Shaun Alexander, that would be sad as well, but such is the nature of professional sports. 6 Million per year is not hype.

Folks, this is a quickie (would that it were a real quickie) I will post again tomorrow I hope, but no promises.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Big up the one Mad Bull and MB Jr.


Blogadies and Blogentlemen:

I was so happy that Mad Bull came to my aid with these problems I was having with the PC's in my home office.

Firstly, he made sure my wireless network was not open for all and sundry to plunder, and before he did that, he talked me on the phone through the process of ensuring that my email signature was appearing when it should - rather simple but still above my hard head.

We still cannot see the tool bar for blogger on the laptop - but like I told him, I am soon going to get rid of it. I do not recommend the Sony Vaio folks.

Whilst Mad Bull busily worked away at my network, MBJr. played with my 2 boys. They seemed like they were having a good time, and MB Jr was a little reluctant to leave.

Super Bowl Sunday is coming up folks - watch out for the Steelers - All who do not like the game, at least watch the half time show. There will be no more pierced nipple incidents, I am sure. Damn.

Kami - here is another quarterback for you, he made my favorite, Peyton Manning, look like a schoolboy a few weeks back. His name is Ben Roethlisberger. Watch him throw some bullets this coming Sunday. This is not just any given Sunday, it is Super Bowl Sunday.

Blog you again soon, folks.. once again big up the one Bull.. I owe you one.