Looking forward to the New Year's weekend

Hello my fellow inhabitants of bloggsville.

Big up my Jamaican crew on their link up in Kingston town.

Just relaxing at home tonight, watching the 36 hour 007 marathon on Spike Tv.

Just had a Glenlivet 18 y.o. scotch and a Partagas cigar. This is the particular puro that I had tonight. It is a 30 minute smoke which leaves you feeling irier than any spliff, I can guarantee you.

Looking forward to New Years eve, going to light some fireworks for the boys, have another puro, and have some bubbly. I got a bottle of Don Perignon from one of my clients. Then, one of the ladies at work is having a party at her house, so I will pass thru in the wee hours of New Years day. At least that's the plan. Hopefully it actually materialises.

I will link up all of your sites now.

After Christmas peace

Folks, I hope all of you had a joyous Christmas. I did. I've been to a few parties here and there, and last night I visited some friends only to find that they were downing lots of bubbly. A cooler in the kitchen contained about 9 bottles of Veuve Cliquot, and I stayed for a few hours.

This morning, needless to say, there are a few bubbles in my system, however bubbles have limited lifespan, and will get expelled one way or the other.

On a somber note, I thought I should take a moment to pay tribute to the life of Oksana Douglas. Her photo from the Jamaica Observer is shown here. Read the article here.

The shooters apparently were shooting at a group of adults in the same location where she was, by a shop. It did not matter to them about the presence of this beautiful 7 year old child. Or, to pop some legalese, they must have been reckless as to the possibility that innocent bystanders might have been there. She must have been "collateral damage". Rest in Peace Oksana.

I've been downloading some music from Limewire, its pretty good, and downloaded a lot of music in the last couple of days. I will see how my hard drive holds up. Mad Bull may have to rescue me from whatever havoc I have done with the notebook.

On an event which is significant for me, I resigned from employment. My last day will be Friday 13th (Rass) January, 2006. I will let you know what I am doing in the middle of January. I am looking forward to an exciting 2006.

Happy 2006, my bloggionistas.

Christmas time again

I am spending 3 days at home with my boys. My father did me a great service today by taking the older of the 2 with him.

I was out last night to a few of the shops that opened late - Caymania was open until 9pm, and I was able to get something for a nephew -

I got a couple of gifts last night for my parents at Hobbies and books as well. By the time I got to Book Nook, it was 8:53pm and the security guard said that the would close at 9, so I did not bother to rush in on that one.

I found a new audio store last night though, so I will swing in there sometime today.

Victoria Secret Supermodel Selita Ebanks at left.

Invigorate your senses and fantasize upon the contents of the nectie of this here bomba who grew up just down the road from where my house is right now. Sabor! Mucho Gusto!

What is the true position, blogaroos?

Well doc, you are truly a lover of life. That is the impression given by your blog anyway. I shall ask the Bull to confirm that that is really what you are like.

This article from the Jamaica Observer is excellent. It relates to the Ringling Brothers circus, more particularly known as the four way race to the leadership of the ruling party in Jamaica. Yes doc - I know some folks are tyad of talkin, but this one is just some satire, something we can all do with at all times.

Boy, these last two weeks I returned to squash, not having played since 10th September 2004, the night before Ivan obliterated all 9 of the squash courts in Cayman. I feel some muscles that have been sleeping for years. Why people play sports voluntarily when it amounts to self-inflicted injury, is beyond rationalisation. I will try again on Saturday morning, since I have been invited by a good looking bomba so to do.


Yard flex creature pictured at right. Reflect upon the physical prowess of this here Jamaican beauty. See the other creatures here.

I will link your sites now.

Oh for the weekend to hurry and come

Bloggionistas

How do you guys find so much time for this thing? It is amazing. In between all the work, play, kids, sleep, Christmas, it is increasingly difficult to pass thru and look at your blogs. It is even more difficult to make a post.

I see where Stanley "Tookie" Williams was executed, so all the old death penalty arguments are ablaze on CNN any any where else called the media.

I did not expect the Governator to give clemency - why do that, and screw up his re-election chances.

Sorry folks, I have no jokes, pics or anything, just a quick hello - I just had a couple of games of squash and I am mashed up.

Blog ya later.

A Li'l bidda dis, a L'il bidda dat

Bloggionistas

Contemplate the capabilities of this here creature wise and wonderful (the lord God made them all), Cayman Islands (and New York) Victoria's Secret Supermodel, Selita Ebanks. Other pics are available on Victoria's Secret's websites, among others.

This is a quickie postie between last nite's work Christmas party, and the one tonight for my wife's work. One of my bloggionistas was there, with his lovely wife at his side - Some will know who that is.

Today I visited the book ship Logos II.

This ship is a huge floating book fair, with countless books for sale, really cheap. Her picture is above. I will try to go again before she leaves, without the children driving us beserk. The books are mainly spiritual and educational, but there is certainly no bookstore in Cayman with an amount of books on display which is any where near the vast amount on this ship. Its going to Bermuda from here.

See you folks soon, and I trust you are enjoying the Christmas season. Party time now.

Cold front - not good, to rass. Hot front, well, now you talkin.

Well, I do now know why, but most Jamaicans are happy with the fact that they become the subject of a lot of twisted humour. Once, I sent one joke to my aunt, and it did not sit well with her at all. (She is actually visiting in Cayman at the moment) She gave me what some of my limie colleagues would refer to as a "bollocking" and said "you are a Jamaican who has forgotten where he came from, and now is making fun of Jamaicans", or something like that - so - here goes - I start with the disclaimer that this is all in good fun, and feel no way.

Three prisoners are waiting to be executed and
they are asked they wish to have for their last
meal. The Italian responds, "PEPPERONI PIZZA."
The warden serves him his Pepperoni Pizza,
and then escorts him to his execution.
The Frenchman requests Filet Mignon. The warden
serves him his Filet Mignon, and then escorts
him to his execution. The Jamaican requests two
mangoes.
"MANGOES????"
"Yes, MANGOES."
The warden replies, "but they're out of season!"
"So?" replies the Jamaican. "I MAN WILL WAIT,
STAR!"


Kinda cool here in the CI this weekend. Cold front passing through. My foreign colleagues would laugh at me, since by cold front, we mean 75 F. My a/c had been off for weeks, so my utility company, CUC, will have to wait a while before it sucks all of my living out of my blood claat.

Well, we have our 2nd Jazz Festival on this weekend, I will try and catch up with that this weekend. Last night my son did a great job narrating at his Christmas concert at his school.


Hey did you notice how some folks like to "lick shot"? I don't mean firearms, I mean like my friend Dr. D Hear im nuh,"let off another one, nuh"

I have a cousin, when he is on my boat, and he wants some speed, he says, "Buss it, nuh?"

If you have not read the above, at least contemplate the capabilities of the Star Girl above. Ain't nuthin but a G-Thang, baby.

Work, Play and Home

Can hardly get a chance to post these days. Its from one thing to the other. I have an aunt visiting from Jam, and I only saw her briefly, once.

She's around 72, but very adventurous - so I think I'll try to get her to Senor Frog's before she leaves.

Work was quite stressful today, our regulator came to do a 3 day inspection. My bosses, in their infinite wisdom, promised them a spreadsheet which did not exist, so I had to prepare it. At 430 p.m., after stressing about it all day, I finished it. Then I was burnt out.

A bit of stress at home as well, my father in law, at the ripe young age of 95, suffered a stroke last night. Today he is more alert, but he cant talk, and his entire right side seems to be paralysed. His picture is attached. He traveled the world as a mariner in his day and I have heard many of his seagoing stories. My mother in law, pictured to his left, passed away this past September. He had a CT scan today, but we have not heard from the Dr about what that shows.

Well, I don't know why Mad Bull thinks he needs to stop the beauty parade. If he needs to change anything, he can simply continue the parade, with the ladies not having gone to the trouble of wearing anything.

I will certainly not incite any further heated comments by going on about my truck any more, I will come up with something else, to blood cleat. I am just happy I was able to post a little suppn before someone, lets say, invites me to. I will delay the car talk a little more.

Puuuulll Uuuuuuup!

Da wah yuh get.

Hey folks -

I hung out at Singh's roti shop on Friday evening, downed a few Buds with a work colleague of mine, and then later, with a martial arts sensei. It's supposedly a Trini hangout, but mainly J'acans were hanging out and watching cricket, playing dominoes, and just limin, generally. As per the usual requirement, the staff was made up mainly of Bombas Centroamericanos.

During happy hour there is really no roti, just beer and finger food, but it was nice, still. I witnessed Brian Charles Lara break the test run total world record as he hit an impressive double ton down under.

Well they are now in the 2nd innings, so the best of luck to Brian, Chandie, and the rest of the Windies!

Just a short post today I think because the kids are acting up to bumbo!

I have to help calm them, and keep calm myself, as if that is possible! Blog ya later.

By the way, the cyber pageant being staged by the Mad Bull is replete with the handiwork of the Lord himself, nice Caribbean beaties to behold.

What to do, what to say, you wait, big tings a gwaan!

Well, I have been prompted by Dr. D to post something. Hopefully something will tickle your fancy here.

Well, the sporting world is scandalous as usual, one of the Portland Trailblazers just cussed his coach and they have suspended him for a while. But what is hidden in the small print at the bottom of the article is that this dude, Patterson, is a registered sex offender in Oregon, and gets millions as a professional athlete to rass! Read it here.

Here is another one, this time from the NFL, with the Philadelphia Eagles. I spoke about T.O. a few days ago, when he cussed his way to a season long suspension (though with full pay). Well his QB teammate, Donavan McNab, is now injured for the rest of the season. Now, you can eliminate one team from the playoffs for sure. Peyton Manning and the Colts are looking like Super Bowl to rass!

I would like to visit the Corner Pocket, and I probably will, but i read where some thug fired a shot into the sky in the parking lot of the same shopping centre where it is. Boy these young wimps with guns need a wake up call. So hopefully, I will catch up with my compadres Mad Bull and the Troubled one later on this week. I see where Trouble has mentioned it on his site.

Boy Trouble has been making some wicked posts recently. I can't possibly fit into his troubled shoes to rass. Also, the Bull has been solo recently. What does a Bull do without his wife, one wonders?

Now the maxim girl above lost her job on Al Gore's (remember him - he actually should be US president now, you know, because the stole the 1st term from him and then he would have won a 2nd term, they say) TV network, because of this photo shoot. Now if it was Bill's network, he would be been like, Yeaaah Naaaiccce. "Turn it owwver baybe let me slayam it one more tayime. Big up Bad boy Bill Clinton." "Thayat woman, Miss Lewinsky, her poontang was so Naaicce. You know ah never had sex with her. She did with me, that naaice beotch, with a naice poontang. " "She sat on me and ah got mah cream all over her blue frock. Naaaice. "

Well, blog ya later...hopefully again before Xmas..

Blogger's Bloc?

It is amazing how serious bloggionistas can come up with nuff bloggin material. I mean some of you are for blogs what some people are for cellphones.

I always stare in wonderment at people who's ears always have a cellphone glued to them and think "ok, what else can be happening that I am just ignorant of?" Even the person who just drove 1 inch from your car so that he could leave the traffic lane, go into the oncoming traffic lane, then turn in front of you so that he could enter the road you are leaving has a telephone glued to his ear.

And to think most of those phones are pre-paid phones, so people have to be topping them up with minutes. Now I know the way of doing that has advanced, you can do it online, at the bank, at the gas station, even at the atm, but the rate at which some people are yabbering away on cellphones should leave them little time to top up, I think, but hey, I guess they just do it while they are still talking on the phone.

My doctor's office has several signs saying "no cell phones" which I guess means please switch them off. If I forget to turn mine off and it rings I usually run outside, and talk, switch off, and the run back inside. Most folks just sit there in the waiting room, oblivious, phone ringing, and then bellowing into the phone "Hello?" when it rings.

I remember being in court once and one of our magistrates, lets call her judge dread, locked up a woman for her cell phone once, because the stupid idiot not only had her phone ring, but answered it and struck up a loud discussion on her phone in the gallery of the court. Judge dredd let her out at the end of the day.

Now here in Cayman Digicel has acquired Cingular. Digicel has gotten quite big here in Cayman, usually all Jamaican's have a digi phone, or both a digi and a C & W. It gets ridiculous sometimes. Once I saw a contractor with 3. He said he had to call his staff (all J'can) on the digi, his wife on the C & W, and certain other folks on the post-paid C & W. Amazing. I am still with C&W but over the years lots of folks got tired of them and when the market was liberalised lots of folks did the switch. There is no number portability yet, so I can't switch without changing over.

In October I went to the local business expo, and all of the phone companies were selling phones really cheaply (even giving some away) - C&W were selling one for $19, and I think Digi was selling one for even less. These were prepaid phones though, and I have never gotten into this buying credit thing.


Lots of European folks were getting Digicel recently too apparently because of favourable long distance rates.

I can barely keep up with my one.

Now you may wonder what how these pics relate to the above tirade, well, nothing actually. Just look if you like and don't if you don't. What else can be said? The one on the right is a top5Jamaica girl.

Back to work tomorrow @##!*%&$

Well, I had an extra long weekend, having added 2 days after our long weekend here in Cayman. One of the great things about that is that my week at work will be all of 2 days, before the weekend again. (Can you tell I like weekends? I am sure I'm not along on that one).

Hey check out this pic of a Miami Dolphins cheerleader - OMG, I have to big up a girl like this every time.

Lets go now to real football, where T & T has made the entire sporting Caribbean smile with pride as they have qualified for the World Cup by beating Bahrain 1-0. Big up Soca Warriors.

Until we blog again.

Long weekend, last for the year before the Holidays, yeah baby!

Hello blogaroos.

Nice to blog you again, having delinquently omitted to blog for about 6 days, to wit tuesday to Friday to rass. This ought to constitute some sort of criminal offence, prosecutable by an involuntary appearance on some kind of wall of shame website. Some has one already, I am sure. For example, Trouble has one linked to his website dedicated to poorly misrepresented chinese characters on tattoos. Now obviously the author has time.

Lot's of interesting folks out there blogging, including some a lady residing in the heart of Latinaville, Campfyah, who often has some interesting stories about the way of life in Venezuela. I await with baited breath her views on Mr. Chavez, one of Mr. Bush's favourite beating sticks.

I have been rather lazy this weekend, and I plan to pile on lots more donothingatalltorass. To sharpen things up a bit, I must run out to pick up some puros y unas cervezas. You know Campfyah, there's no Venezuelan beer here.

My friend at the national archive sent me this song for the Thanksgiving folks, I am not really into the thanksgiving itself, but I am into the food, therefore I will be nyamming (tr. eating) some turkey, should any traverse my immediate vicinity, and make entry to my digestive system, hopefully all of it proceeding thereafter to the exit, rather than to my mid section to rass. Any way here's the song enjoy it and shake your booties!

Any way, in between the wutlissniss, my boys had their respective swimming lessons, in 2 different places, and its off to softball for my 6 y.o. at 330. At the end of it all some rum haffe flow and some cigar ago bun. It a go bun!

Have a good weekend folks, and remember to comment (if you are not speechless) on Trouble's latest labour of love, about blood every where after a wild ride with one of his pre-Ivan lasses. As I was reading on, I thought it was going to be grosser than just rough riding causing bleeding, but its worth a read folks, so that you can delve into the unpredictable world of the one Trouble.

Blog ya lata..

NFL, exciting on and off the field

Tonight, I would like to see the Monday nite game, and my satellite is down, to rahted. Yesterday was full of excitefullness and wonderfullment.

T.O... suspended due to his comments... amazing .. read it here. Boy, a man making millions expects to go into a broadcast interview and trash talk his team mate Donavan McNab (who, incidentally is a rare breed, i.e. a black quarterback) . Terrell himself is a great player, so it is sad that the league will be without him for the rest of the season..

Elsewhere, the man who has been accused by his former girlfriend of giving him herpes led the Atlanta to a 17-10 win over Miami. And, here in Cayman, we have so many broken hearted Dolfans.

Off the field, 2 of the Carolina Panthers have been caught having sex with each other in a bathroom in a bar. The atrocity is that they were arrested! The cops must have missed the real dyke action, to rass, and were angry, and arrested them for stopping!

Yo - no TV tonight, I will have to twiddle with the rabbit ears. Hopefully not too much snow, speaking of which, whats this controversy about the snowman t shirt? Amazing amount of press coverage still.

Lastly, lets keep Spanish Town in our thoughts as we hope and pray for peace in Jamrock.

Blogpeeps, Blog ya later!

November, eh? Another year gone

Yo bloggists, what's on your various minds, brothers and sisters? My mind is kind of scattered at the moment, nothing in particular to blog about. Work pressures are mounting (that is a majer rass understatement, to bumbo), as usual, and I can feel a big transition coming soon. I will tell you more about that when certain things happen, though.

The pirates landing was pretty good, although my wife did not speak to me there because yesterday I was a bit of a misery, having gone through a bit of a horrible Friday afternoon at work.

I am actually tired of alcohol. These days I will have a drink or 2, but I do not seem to have the urge for it at all. Could this be a sign of a life change, or is it just age catching up on me? Rass, I don't know, however whatever the benefits of non-drinking are, hopefully I can derive some of those (are there any?).

Long weekend coming up at the end of his week folks, and I plan to have whale of atime, including hopefully a domino session in the back of my place.

Today we began to put furniture into our old apartment, where my late mother in law lived until Hurricane Ivan devastated it last September. 14 months after Ivan, it is just now complete, and we are getting it ready for rental. We expected it to be ready from July, and I had the furniture for it from March this year, clogging up my garage and attic. Have to apply for electricity for it tomorrow. Hot today, rasta. It is now 917 pm and it is 82 degs!

There is indeed a funny story behind it, because someone washed my truck yesterday, and at Sunrise where the apartment is there is a huge puddle in the parking lot, so I refused to use my truck, as that beast would have taken all of the furniture in 1 or 2 trips. But I figure in the next few days when it looks like "normal" again, I will give in.

Here is a pic from Nissanusa.com with a red version of my truck. Mine does not have those "big tow" mirrors, which are a bit "in your face" when they are extended, like they are in this pic. But the Titan is one beast of an animal, and a pleasure to drive. It is a pickup and an SUV in one, as the four door layout affords a huge back seat area (for passengers, get your mind out of the niceness). The gas bill is atrocious, though, it is a v8, 5.6L guzzler! Mine is actually dark green, but the factory calls that deep water blue. Talk about toys (come one keep your mind straight) - adjustable pedals, rear a/v control, rear electric window, anti- glare mirror, front loading 6 cd changer, 10 speakers including sub-woofer, heated seats, leather, audio controls in the steering wheel, power seats, four 12v sockets, 3 inside and one in the truck's bed!, and a whole load of other wicked features I cannot even remember.

Peeps, let me know whats going on. I will surf your way and check out your musings and maybe some depraved rantings.

Not a lot to blog about, I don't think, but let's see where this leads

Hey folks

Happy All Saints Day (yesterday), or Day of the Dead if you are in Mexico.

Boy "rain" is not our buzzword, but our only word, although the sun has been peeping intermittently from yesterday.

Well we have seen where good old George has been converting the US Supreme Court into a Republican machine - this is very serious, as these appointments have no set expiry date. Well, let see where that goes - hopefully Uncle Sam knows what he is doing - let me know what you think my US bloggionistas! My USA legal heavyweights, please comment!

God bless the soul of Rosa Parks, who was laid to this week having been eulogised by such orators as Clinton, and receiving vocal tributes by such artistes as Aretha.

I think the Cayman Islands legal profession needs a Rosa Parks, who refuses to yield her seat to oppressors, of whatever shade.

All of the fallout from doping in sports (yes I do not care who wants to call it sport) continues. The Man who claims to have sold it to Marion Jones has been indicted.

Well, it looks like the weekend is upon us, and maybe some of my new found crew may check out Senor Frogs - nice place, I like it - I certainly recommend it to those who have not tried.

Blog ya lata...

Miscellany

Hello out there in blogsville

Hope you are having a good Halloween (if you are in a place that celebrates that) - my kids have their costumes ready, and hopefully they will collect some candy tonight without getting wet by the rainfall that we have been so fortunate to receive, continuously now for several, wet days.

I just tried to upload a couple of interesting pics sent by cousin Deb from Jam, but Blogger was having errors, my word, I guess the pics were to hot for Blogger - oh well, if you post your email address as a comment, I shall be sure to send those nice pics for you to contemplate.. My heart still palpitates in the after effects of having eyed them carefully.

Like certain of my bloggionista amigos, I am now battling the 'flu, hopefully I can get rid of it shortly.

On a sad note, we have all seen the news about the killing of 2 young Roman Catholic priests in the land of my birth, Jamaica. An amazing article has been written by Father Ho Lung, mentioning that the killer(s) are in fact forgiven. This is another article as I have been unable to retrieve Ho Lung's. Read it here.

The killing was also published by CNN

This is one of the most saddest stories to have emerged from Jamaica. You know, my cousin who visited with me recently told me that part of the blame for crime in Jamaica rests with me, as I have not returned there to help resolve it. Amazing. Apparently he was blameless, but I was blameworthy.

I just tried again to upload those pics.. for a moment of breathless relief, however let me know and I will email to any of you daring enough to post your email address as a comment to this -

Alpha, Beta and ra$$ Gamma

I am the alpha and the omega, etc.

Well, our little 3 rocks are once again under a wet deluge of heavenly wata.

Rather than complain I will lift my head to the hills.. oh well, the underwater hills anyway, because we have no hills here..

madbull, despite the rain, hold up thy head, breddrin.
Mount up like eagles, run and not faint.. etc.

Hey I feel like preachin today.. My dad who is a minister would be real proud even for my flippant rant of spirituality.. as seldom as it happens

Not complaining about rain any more, genklepeeps, going to thank the one on high.

Now when it comes to hurricanes, now that is a cussin matter, and if the Lord chooses to make me survive to see the aftermath, then, once again..

But of course, the rain is love making weather, they say, for me, it is trying to control my 2 boys whose cabin fever need treatment by Dr. D by whatever means necessary.

I just ran inside, having once again tried by hands at some gardening - well, thank god I don't live of that, I would sure starve - one heavenly shower came and me and the boys ran for cover!

Peeple - enjoy your weekend - we will try to enjoy a wet pirate's week!

Same as usual.. nuttin much

Hey folks

Wilma's outer tentacles are still whipping up some waves on our shores, serious road crossing waves I mean.. Some damage to homes and business reported - however not widespread damage.

Jamaica's prime minister, P.J. Patterson was here this weekend - big time gala at the Marriott last night, I heard that it was flashy - now some may cringe, but the man is a head of state after all - For some of course, this is an important moment, as they are many who hold this man in very high regard. This visit was to commemorate his receipt of an international award along with Kofi Annan. Well it turns out that PJ decided to use this visit to lash out at the visas, oh well, next time he'll need a visa --

Well my cuz returned from Cuba this past Friday night and left today on Air Jam to Kingston. He is a bit of a high maintenance 27 y.o., but this weekend I was cool with him. A nice woman came and visited him here at my house last night, and after dinner with us they left in her car, and I was out cold so I did not know (nor wanted to) what time he (or they) returned.

You see, his mother is my mother's sister, and his mother is a giant of a woman, college professor, writer, minister of religion, and the list goes on. The lady simply makes me feel at peace when she visits us here in Cayman. So I don't really care how her son carries on, seen? (I mean he ain't carryin on with no bull$hit in my house still - I will invite him to vacate).
What I do for him is really for her as well.

Well, as our leglislators have seen it fit to step up the fight against crime in Cayman, they are now passing a law to ensure that those serving sentences for serious crimes must serve at least 5/9ths of their sentences. 1/3rd was the amount before parole before.

Mad Bull said to me that you see, "I used to roll like that" - he sounded more like a high horse... Well folks, I will do as I see it fit - thanks for the invite though, and give us more bloggage, so that if we are not moved intellectually, at least there will be a rise in temperature! I am sure that my bloggionistas can return occasionally to the kind of mayhem they used to create - so MB - here is an open invitation - for old times sake - lets have another of those blogs of old - hotties - yeah yeah!

Have a good week folks!

Wilma gone, big rass must have drank mad puss piss!

Now, can you imagine, one bitch of a storm, Ivan came last year and kicked our butts half way to Timbuktu.. and now, 14 months later, his stinkin kissin cousin, Wilma, comes around here with her stinkin rass breath? Does she even have a clue? Better yet, does she have a Cayman Islands visa, work permit, or status? She mussie really want me call Immigration and lock down her rass. Givin people nothin but unwanted rass fellatio.

Illegal alien dawta of a diseased cow, may the fleas of a zillion camels infect her bumbo rass. Effin Kiss me rass come and block Mad Bull road. And you know all MB need to do is phone I & I so that I can file an injunction against I stinkin jezebel so that she can can rass clat go back to West Africa or wherever the bitch made her Genesis.

Every time I look at my bruised and battered house all I can think of is that SOB Ivan the terrible. 2 times the tiles came for the roof and the 1st time they were wrong. Now the man dem put up the price for gutters - these contractors around here really think money grown on grape trees! Wutless bunch of tiefin rasses dem.

Now I heard about Wilma, but she has no idea that no one in Cayman can take any brushes with a twist crotch cow like her or any other storm for the time being. God help us finish this season. Now these storms have so much audacity that they are going to have to start a list name Alpha, Beta, Delta, and so on?

I DO NOT WANT TO HERE NOTHING ABOUT ANY GOD DAMN ALPHA OR MALPHA OR ANY EFFIN THING ELSE. NO MORE EFFIN STORMS TO RASS.

ENOUGH CUSSIN. NOW HERE'S JESSICA ALBA (FROM DAH BAAAACK), AND RIHANNA - BAJAN BOMBA!

Wilma kickin some you know what

WTF! Wilma Cat 5 overnight? She is a real bitch! I woke up to the sound of the wind at 5am. Blowing here in Cayman at tropical storm force.

As usual, I will post 2 of the jokes that have blown my way by email - the 1st one was just sent to me by my cousin in Fla. but it has been around for some time now -


YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2005 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on the
microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards
in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers for your
family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk
next to you.

5 Your reason for not staying in touch with
friends and family is that
they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your
cell phone to see if
anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site
at the bottom of the
screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone,
which you didn't have
the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is
now a cause for panic
and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line
before getting your
coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to
smile. : )

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are
going to forward this
message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on
this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that
there wasn't a #9 on
this
list.

WHEN I SAY I'M BROKE...I'M BROKE


A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
"Good morning, " said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners."
"Go away!" said the old lady. "I haven't got any money!" and she proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed wide open.
"Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration." And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.
"If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder."
The old lady stepped back and said,

"Well I hope you've got a damned good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning ."


Well - folks, my cuz returns from Cuba this weekend and spends it here before returning to Jam Rock - with Wilma south of us giving us one hell of a blow job, Cuba is the right place to be (until later this week, that is)

I hope Jamaica survived ok - I see Weather Channel showing some flooding in Jam etc. Keep yourselves dry.

Here's a of senorita from the Dominican Republic! Bomba!

Last day off - good week - back to reality

To Rum Point again yesterday, people - lots of fun on the water -
Hope to do it again soon - I will invite Mad Bull to see how he reacts to the North Sound..

Ja'can translation below:

USA: It's been a long time since I have seen you girl....
JAM: Gyal, you noh dead yet?

USA: Oh Lord, we have lost electricity again.
JAM: Lawd Gad... current lock awff again to rahtid!

USA: This meal is not too bad
JAM: Di food cyan eat

USA: Where did you buy that awful bracelet Cindy?
JAM: A weh yuh buy dat-deh big ole ugly bangle deh missis?

USA: Hors d'oeurves?
JAM: Ah wah dis likkle sinting yuh a gi me?

USA: Here kitty kitty... get down from the roof
JAM: Hey dutty puss...come awff a di housetap before a buss yuh rass!

USA: I think something is wrong with Susan. She might have the flu.
JAM: Lawd Gad... obiya tek up Suzie!

USA: Oh my God, I just broke mom's expensive plate!
JAM: Lawd mi Gad, mi bruk up mamma stoosh crackry!

USA: Why are you squeezing the mangoes like that?
JAM: Lissen to mi nuh, mi a beg yuh stap fingle-fingle up di mango dem.

USA: Sir, please don't throw my luggage like that.
JAM: Aye, buff-teet bwoy, tap fling up, fling-up mi bag dem suh man.

USA: I wish you would quit lying.
JAM: Tap di blinkin lyin, yuh ole liyad.

USA: Lift up the hood of the car for me John.
JAM: Hey my yute, fly di bonett rasta!

USA: I am waiting for a taxi and it's taking so long!!
JAM: But wait, no robot naah run todeh

USA: Get me a pop please?
JAM: Beg yuh carry wan drinks fi mi deh..

USA: It's time for a Perm.
JAM: Gyal, yuh hed waan cream. Yuh noh si how it tough?

USA: Yuck! This is nasty!
JAM: Kiss mi neckback!! What a sinting tase bad an incipid!!

USA: I wish you would close your mouth.
JAM: Yuh mout come in like when grip cyan shut.

USA: Girl, your acne is terrible
JAM: Massagad, pickeny, yuh face bumpy-bumpy an fayva grayta eeh..

USA: Please make some room on the bus so this man can have a seat.
JAM: Schoolas, small up unnu self man mek daddy siddung.

USA: I have a stomach ache.
JAM: Mi belly ah gripe mi.

USA: These mangoes look a bit over-ripe.
JAM: Missis, move fran in front ah mi wid dem fluxy mango deh.

USA: He has very large, full eyes.
JAM: Wat ah bway fayva patoo

USA: He has no manners.
JAM: Him no have no broughtupsi

USA: Perspiration odour
JAM: Him smell green

USA: Poached (boiled) chicken
JAM: Dat deh singtin nuh start cook yet

USA: Oh, dear
JAM: ee-eeeeee

USA: Josh is suffering from Attention Deficit Disorder.
JAM: Di pickeny too dyam hard ears!!

USA: He has a touch of Dyslexia.
JAM: What a bway Dunce sah!!!

USA: I need a bottle of Peptobismol. My stomach hurts.
JAM: Lawd mi coulda do wid a washout yah now... mi belly bine up.

USA: That man over there is missing his dentures.
JAM: Cooh pan dat deh mashmout bredda ova deh soh


Well - I saved the above as a draft and went to the Business Expo, peeps. OK, but smaller than in previous years. But boy, I wanted to show you a few tings still!

Me and my cuz went to a few places.

1. We went to Western Union at a supermarket, because the man was receiving a money from yard. They did not have sufficient US$ Cash, so I told him I wud take him elsewhere to collect. I picked up some food at the Supmkt and went next door to the pharmacy. When I was ordering my food, my yute look at the lady an seh "me want a sample piece a dat chicken deh" and him eat it off like a starving refugee and waved it around at me and seh - "you want piece?" which I declined courteously. I thought Lord, why me.

Whilst I was waiting for the pharmacist to do her thing, my yute (cuz) look at me and seh.. why you don;t si down and have your food. Now, dis is in the drug store you know Iyah! I said no, thats fine, I will have it in the car. He said no.. F____ dem, have it here. I said some unkind things to him then, then I said in my mind ... Lord, why me.

2. We went to Western Union in a bank, where my yute collect him US$. Nothing untoward. We went to FCIB, to change the US$ to Canadian, because my yute is leaving here for Cuba, and says US$ is no longer accepted there (right or wrong, I Don't know). He say the line (queue) and said no my yute, I checkin customer service. The chick there said, no, please go back to the line, I have no cash here. My beloved cuz said, you haffe gimme a bly, because I know you a yardie and you nah treat me this way.. anyway, my girl left her station, walked to the opposite side of the bank, and got the US$ and bring it back for my yute. At the end I struck up a convo with an Espanita, who said she has worked in Caymman for 2 years.

3. By then, I wanted to rid myself of my beloved cuz, so I called my brother, who had not entertained him for the whole week, I guess because I was off. After he picked up cuz, I said.. Thank god..

What do you think folks.. I thought the dude was acting up a bit, but wifey thinks that time was just wearing on because I had been taking him out all week.

SOB, and I was going to take him to Corner Pocket tomorrow - now.. let bro put him before the TV.... I will deal with the Espanitas.. Cus goin to Cuba anyway, so I will deal with the one one Espanitas in Cayman...

Have a wicked weekend folks -

Week off - nuttin bettah

Yow- I am off this week genklepeeple.

My cousin is down from Mandeville, Jamaica, and I took him out on my boat yesterday. Nice day (I hope he thinks so) - stingrays at the sandbar, about 100 large iguanas sunning by a canal, Heineken on the boat, lunch at the Rum Point Restaraurant. Mahi-Mahi sandwich for me, Chicken for my cuz..

Then, we stopped at the beach behind the Westin for a few minutes... well, most days should have been like that one.

Now you may think that Eva Longoria is strictly down the conservative, given her success in Desperate Housewives, and her association with NBA great Tony Parker - however in keeping with the latina in her, here she appears in Maxim.. Mama Mia.. yo quiero Taco ... well you know the rest.

Ketch up with you soon - errands to do -not only that, my 2 year old decided to apply some artwork to a form I was completing at my desk - so .. here goes again..

Lateeeer.

Whaat!? Da wa yu get.

Greetings all

Quiet weekend, I saw my Blogging crew last night at the Corner Pocket - I felt a bit silly being introduced by Blog name - but I did have several Heinekens and tried pool and darts - so it was a nice evening.

Now the one Mad Bull is trying to stage a beauty parade, and for some reason both his Bullness and one of his other bloggionistas believe that I ought to come out with the first beauty. Someone sent me a nice link recently, of which the queen was Miss Carla Harvey. Not a camera shy lady. I was tempted to show her here, but I am afraid that Blogger would shut me down completely - however I will begin a gallery, and post them soon.

Now, to close, I will leave you with 2 jokes, I don't know if you have come across them before, but one of them is at the expense of Jamaicans, so take note - this is all in good fun.

St. Peter came to the Lord and said, "Lord, I have to talk to you. I have a problem. I know we didn't have many Jamaicans in heaven so you instituted an affirmative action plan and we are supposed to have 10,000 Jamaicans in heaven. But they are causing so many problems! They have torn down the Pearly Gates by swinging on them. They have let in another 10,000 of their bredrin through the fence. They are constantly standing by the gate disturbing Angel Gabriel begging for a "bly" for their baby modder, cousin, sistren, neighbour, granny, auntie...Whenever it is their turn to watch the gates they keep letting in good looking women and fat women. They have gotten jerk sauce all over their white robes. Drum pan chicken is being sold all over the Streets of Gold. Some are walking around with only one wing because they are "styling"Angels must have two wings to fly! Some of them have put on chrome wings and dazzling the other angels when they are flying. The white robes are eternal and must be washed five times a day. Some haven't washed their robes since they arrived because they didn't come to heaven do "day's work". Some have refused to take their turn in helping keep the Stairway to Heaven clean because "dem ah no boddy helper". Many who came here because they used salt are still using it because they don't like "ital" food. Some refuse to wear their halos because they don't fit right over their hairstyles. Others are wearing their halos backways. Others are wearing their halos with the tags still attached to them. Others have discarded the white halos and are wearing gold ones instead they claim these are " bashy". Most of the women have discarded their white robes and are wearing white shorts and "batty riders" claiming that they have pretty skin and want to show off their "bandylegs". Reggae music is blasted at all hours of night at their "bashments", disturbing all the other residents. Their cellular phones are worn on their robes and keeps ringing during prayers. Recently there was an altercation between Adam and one Jamaican who claims he was only "checking out" Eve. They have planted marijuana in the Garden of Eden since the soil is so fertile claiming "man and man haffi hustle".What should I do?!"The Lord said; "It wouldn't be fair to not let Jamaicans in heaven.They have just as much right to be here as other nationalities. Maybe we just don't know how to deal with them; maybe we are using the wrong approach.We need to check with someone who has more experience dealing with them. Let's call the Devil. The Devil answered the phone and said, "Hello, Lord. What can I do >for you?"The Lord said, "We have a problem up here, and we'd like to talk to >you about it." The Devil said, "Just a minute, I've got to put you on hold. "The Devil was gone five minutes. He came back to the phone and said, "OK Lord, I'm back. What's up?" The Lord said, "Well, I would like to talk to you about a problem up here."Once again the Devil excused himself and put the Lord on hold. This time he was gone for fifteen minutes. Finally, the Devil came back to the phone and said,"Lord, I am really sorry, but I can't talk to you right now. I have to go. These damn Jamaicans down here..... Yesterday they had air conditioning installed. Now they have just extinguished Hell's Fire, saying "man come to Hell fe 'chill'.

And the other one --

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down. and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device... a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic. "You impotent #$%&^*%," She screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!" The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll explain the toy . . . you explain the kids."

Any way, I will post a picture of one of my co-workers - some of you may recognise her. This photo came from a public, on line source. I will post some pics on the next post.

One weekend I am happy for

I must join my counterpart, Mad Bull, in giving Senor Frogs the thumbs up it is indeed a positive addition to the Cayman scene, albeit without numerous scantily clad latinas with come hither eyes (and other physical attributes).

The lack of senoritas at Frogs really does not take away from its allure- the rest of the Cayman demographic does gather there - a few Jamaicans, Caymanians, Canadians, Americans, and of course limies, sorry the British would be a more appropriate (though undeserved) designation.

I a legal practitioner, but this blogging world really does allow me to vent my more humble, realistic side. You see my beloved profession is to me annoying by its pretence, which exudes itself at every possible opportunity. Lawyers sleep pretentiously. I make no apologies for my painfully real disposition, which sometimes I suffer for, but that cost is nothing to bear.

Mad Bull http://www.madbull4.net is truly my ally, and I will take care not to be on the receiving end of his charge - I look forward to his posts, especially photographic or other representations of the female gender, even my wife knows I am completely helpless in my affinity for the ladies. In all seriousness, it is indeed the subject of envy that Natty's co-workers have expressed to her positive opinions in respect of the "mojo" of the Bull...

There is nothing more gentlemanly than the reflective manner in which the Bull described the meals at Senor Frogs and Sunset - once I calm down from the excitement of this blogging world which is new to me, I will perhaps constrain myself to dabbling in some of the more mundane aspects of Caymanian life - however for now its ladies and music that are occupying my blogging mentality, and such will be manifested in the content of this blog. Hopefully for the female surfers this will not seem too self serving, well to be frank, it is .. so there you go.

Lastly, based on the Bull's comments, I watched Crash last night, it was a masterpiece. My wife watched it this morning, and she must have liked it as she actually watched all of it.

Peace to all.. Blog you later.. Big ups once again to the one Mad Bull.

Mine how yu recommend de vitamin s to a Chinese Joe.

Blogger peeps - I am back - I will surf into your doorsteps after I post this..

Subject: FW: CHINESE SICK LEAVE

I NOT COME WORK TODAY!!!"

Hung Chow calls in to work and says, "Hey, boss I
not come work today,

I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt. I not come
work."
>> >> >>> >
The boss says, "You know Hung Chow, I really need
you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her give me sex.
That makes everything better and I can go to work. You try that."

Two hours later Hung Chow calls again: "Boss, I do
what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house."
>>


Es necessario por mi jefe decir la misma. Yo voy a su casa immediatamente.... El no esta alli!!!

Any way, whats happenin - Angry Dog - how's the dykes? Are they nice dykes, or gross - eef you ketch my dreeft.

In that shocker of a post by Dr. D recently (Re gays in bars and in red high heels in Jam) he mentioned that latinas were working in a bar in Jam. It is pretty compulsory in Cayman. Who no have dem senoritas nah say nutten!! Dem don't know eff all about taking a drink order in english but dem hooooooootttt....

They have this curious habit of very nicely wrapping a napkin over the top of an open beer before they serve it. I think the poor latinas are used to having to keep flies off the drinks, unless that piece of stereotyping is me jus being rude... oh well not the first time, nor the last..

Why you think my learned Madbull (www.madbull4.net) and other bloggionistas hang out at corner pocket? Ostensibly, its for the pool or darts. I guess same here, when I go this Saturday, is for pool too... until you get there y las latinas son caliente y delicioso. Es possible yo no volver a la casa despues de la corner pocket en Sabado. Yo voy a la casa de la latina loca... Andale!!! Las latinas de corner pocket son de Honduras, Santo Domingo, Panama y Cuba - ay caramba mama mia, yo quiero solo una!

Excuse the bad spanglish (and the bad english too....)


Lateeeeeer.

All manner of Izim Skizim

Here's a couple of links, one for Jah Cure fans,

http://www.jahworks.org/music/interview/jah_cure.htm
, also

For the not so fond of George Bush citizens of the world:

http://www.michaelmoore.com/words/message/index.php
Boy Michael Moore was kickin some major republican butt on that one, Katrina backlash and all.

Here's what Mama Bush's motor mouth said - her infamous faux pas

In a segment at the top of the show on the surge of evacuees to the Texas city, Barbara Bush said: "Almost everyone Ive talked to says we're going to move toHouston."Then she added: "What Im hearing which is sort of scary is they all want to stay in Texas. Everyone is so overwhelmed by the hospitality."And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this--this (she chuckles slightly) is working very well for them."

Now in that bit of verbal diarrheaah true extremism was unadulterated. This is how the President was brought up.

Now today, I see that George has appointed his old lawyer to the Supreme Court. Now, I guess there is something good about a non-judge (i.e. a non-career civil servant) joining the bench, but old George must know he is going to take some heat for appointing a crony to the bench Come on George, at least pretend to be objective, even if your brain is fried on cocaine.

See the mug shots of George's daughter as well as other famous arrestees at www.thesmokinggun.com.

Well I had better get some sleep before returning to .. well.. work. I will expound in the fullness of time.

The office is getting under my skin

My day started off ok, but then at the end things got scary. Working for other people can definitely shorten one's lifespan. Unless I do something, it will shorten mine, anyway.

I could really go to the corner pocket and down some beer tonight, (and lust at the latinas) but wifey would do me in (again). I see one lonely bud light in the fridge, but the cupboard is full of other more potent libations - I think I will have a scotch (after the bud light).

I wonder if the bull (www.madbull4.net) has posted any new and excited laydeees with nice bootees and toing to to toing toing toings.. lets see -

Leave it there for now, gots to pop a top.

Rainy weekend

Rainy weekend...

Good weather for indoor sports of every variety...

Boy those satellite pirates are something else... they want to charge $200 so that someone else’s credentials can be used so that I can pretend to be on the mainland – not surprising... but things are not well coz the cable guy says wait one month until he installs.

Hey that http://www.muzikmedia.com site is really wicked. Welcome to Jamrock videos and a lot more.

This is a test post using Blogger for word. Let’s see if it will get lost in cyberspace.
My 6 year old offspring is shown here.

Well, I went to the dj competition last night. I do not know what to make of it. It was well attended by a lot of j'cans, but also locals, and other expats. It was a bit suprising to see so many different types of people, in a place that used to be considered a J'can hangout. Call me a geyser, but I had forgotten how people can go mad over a brother selecting a few tunes. Boy that Jah cure one about behind the metal bars made them go ballistic...

The new management of the Mango Tree changed the place up a lot though, its now a decent outdoor venue. The J'cans really enjoyed Nico, a dj from Jamrock, as well as Martino, and the other dj's.

Like a lot of local bars, there were lots of latino bartenders, as usual, keeps the customers looking, anyway, if not salivating.

C&W gave away lots of mobile minutes, which delighted all the pay as you go (broke) massive.

Like I mentioned last night, Mad Bull http://www.madbull4.net is going to have to assist me on this, because past a certain point I am a pc dummy. I am not going to read one of those yellow books.

Cool, as I am typing this Man United v Fulham is starting. I have not watched premier league for a while but I would expect Sir Alex's lads to kick some major limie ass.

Well I was just made to eat my words as Fulham scored in the 2nd minute (scored by John) United looked like sissies in the 18 yard box. I know some major limie bawlin must be goin on.

Inspired by the Bull

Well, over 1 week ago I came across the blog of the one Mad Bull, my fellow Jamaican transplant (to the Cayman Islands) . I think I am addicted to this blog thing, although I do not know if I can post as tenaciously as I read several blogs.

Yo - i understand the dj competition is at the mango tree tonight, so I may swing out there, although unless my usual sidekick does not check in real soon, I will hit the sack.

I will post this now, just to see what happens - comments please...